Saturday, May 25, 2013

Anderson and Andrew

Some of my high school students graduated today. Obviously I didn't go to the graduation because that's the type of thing you go to only if someone makes you. It has got me reminiscing about my high schoolers...

One of my students who graduated today is named Anderson. I've written about Anderson before since on my first day of teaching he told me I could just call him Jesus. It's not hard to believe that Anderson had more hilarious quotes. Sadly, I don't have them all written down. I would often write them on my Quote of the Day board. I remember there was one about seeing an Edward doll from Twilight and saying, "oh yea, this is going on the mantle." We'd also frequently quote The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia and really confuse everyone else in the class.

I live in Mountain Time because I'm a billy goat. -Anderson

When I had Anderson for Spanish 2, there was a freshman named Andrew in the class. And while Anderson put thought into his statements, Andrew was known for saying unintentionally hilarious things in my class.

One day, we were playing a Jeopardy review game for a test on clothing. One of the categories displayed pictures of clothing and then the students had to say that item in Spanish. Here's what happened when a picture of a bathing suit appeared...

Andrew: BAÑO!

Me: No.

Other Student: Traje de baño.

Me: Yes! Good job!

Andrew: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!

Me: Noo...he said "bathing suit". You said "bathroom".

Andrew: Same thing!

Later in the game...

Andrew: That's not fair! He didn't say "el" and you gave him the point. You didn't do that for me.

Me: You were missing multiple words.

Andrew was also good at conversation starters...

Andrew: Miss Black, did you know that Bear Grylls once found a camel in the desert and he cut it open, took out his guts, and slept in it?!

Me: Well, that's what you gotta do. It's from Star Wars.

Other Student: Oh yea, the Wookie.

Me: Do you mean Tauntaun? Because that was not a Wookie on the ice planet Hoth. That's right, I know all those things.

Eventually we began to notice that sometimes, Andrew couldn't remember English words...

Me: Take a look at this picture [of a broom], what does barrer mean?

Andrew: BROOMING!

Me: Or sweeping? OK, how about this one [picture of a mop]? This is what you do after brooming.

Class: Mopping!

A few days later...

Me: What is this question asking?

Class: What room is on the first floor of the house?

Andrew: Oh! The...umm...WASHING STATION!

Me: a) Do you mean laundry room? b) That's not an option. c) I like the words you use.

A few more days later...

Andrew: Man, that's a mess. You'd have to do a lot of brooming to clean that up.

Andrew doesn't know what a fifth is...

Andrew: Miss Black! Have you seen this video on YouTube? This guy will eat anything. (He then listed off a bunch of things this guy will eat.)

Me: That's pretty gross.

Andrew: This one time, he drank a whole bottle of vodka in like, 30 seconds!

Me: A fifth?

Andrew: NO! The whole bottle!

Me: That's what it's called. A fifth is a whole bottle. I'm glad you don't know that.

Andrew and sweet tea...

Andrew: Sweet tea is terrible. Like, if Hitler is here...sweet tea is here. That's how much I hate Hitler. I mean sweet tea.

Andrew and death...

Andrew: You know what would be the best and worst way to die? From pulling the pin out of a grenade and then accidentally swallowing it.

Me: Does that happen a lot? People can't decide between throwing and eating grenades?

Andrew was balancing his desk on his knees...

Andrew: Guys, look how high my desk is. This is like a giant's desk. I bet Goliath could've sat here, back in the day.

No comments:

Post a Comment