Wednesday, May 15, 2013

May 15, 2013

This one came up a few days ago and I can't remember if it was in a kindergarten or first grade class...

Boy: How would you say it in human language?
Me: Human language? You mean English?
Boy: Yea.

Jay-Z (4th grade) was describing a  Transformers video game today...

JZ: The thing about Decepticon Leapers is that you have to engage them. If you're thinking like an engagement ring, you're wrong. It means you shoot them.

While I'm at it, I'll just throw in this JZ classic because I can't remember if I've used it before...

JZ: Actually, Andrew tooted and it really smelled. I think it blocked my oxygen hole.

Working on menus in a third grade class...

Me: We need some desserts. What kinds of desserts will you have in your restaurant? How about ice cream?
Boy: No...people will eat cat food.
Me: Cat food? OK. How about cake?
Boy: Yea.
Me: Cookies?
Boy: Yea.
Me: Alright, just one more.
Boy: Shoe.
Me: Well, that will go nicely with the cat food I guess. What are you going to name your restaurant?
Boy: Onions.

Working on menus in a fourth grade class...

Girl: Miss Black, can you draw a bearded dragon?
Me: Not at all.
Boy: She's the Spanish teacher. She only know how to draw Spanish stuff.

Boy 1: How do you say, "We do birthdays here," in Spanish?
Boy 2: WE DON'T DO BIRTHDAYS HERE SO GO ON DOWN TO McDONALD'S AND GET YOURSELF AN APPLE PIE!

Dismissal time with kindergarteners...

M: You know what? Girls are divas.
Me: I bet you could be a diva, too.
M: I'm not a girl. I scream like a girl, but I'm not one.
Me: Well, if you were a girl you'd be a diva. You're a bit high maintenance.

Me: Girl, I need to sit down. My feet are tired.
Girl: I can stand for 100 days.
Me: 100 days? That seems like a really long time to stand.
Girl: I have a llama clock.
Me: A llama clock? What's that?
Girl: No, a larm clock.
Me: Oh, an alarm clock.

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