Wednesday, October 23, 2013
During a fourth grade science test on food chains a student approached the teacher and asked...
Girl: Can a hawk eat a snake? Is that even allowed?
While in a second grade class I had to attempt to untie a girl's shoelaces...
Me: Who tied your shoelaces together?
Girl: I did.
Me: How did your shoes get tied together so tightly?
Girl: I don't know.
Me: How did you get down the hall from computer?
Girl: I sort of waddled.
We were lucky enough to have this guy come and speak to the students about polar bears. He takes trips to the arctic and photographs polar bears. It was pretty cool! During the question and answer part of the fourth grade session, one boy had a suggestion for him...
Boy: If you're driving your car in the Arctic, don't get too close to a polar bear because he'll just rip the doors off.
In another second grade class the students were being very noisy when they came into the room...
Me: That's weird...I thought I was in Mrs. Scott's class, but this doesn't sound like Mrs. Scott's class at all. Do you think Mrs. Scott would like it if I told her that I thought her class had been replaced by a noisy class?
Boy: That would be MUY MAL!
Another over-share in kindergarten...
Girl: I have a doctor's appointment because sometimes I cough things up.
Me: Wow. Thanks for sharing that with me.
A classic non sequitur from M regarding the first grade trip to the pumpkin patch...
Before the field trip:
Me: Hey M, have fun at the pump-
M: My scalp is red!
Me: Oh, well...I'm sorry to hear that.
M: It's from that spray paint [at the Fall Carnival].
During the field trip:
M: Mrs. Ramey, it looks like we are in the country. What country is this?
Mrs. Ramey: I feel sure we are still in the United States.
After the field trip:
Me: Did you have fun at the pumpkin patch, M?
M: It wasn't as fun as I'd thought. We didn't get to do the racin' thing. And we was really hopin' on that.
Me: Oh. Well, um...that's too bad. (Also I have no clue what the "racin' thing" is)
While making our Day of the Dead craft in third grade, one boy let me know his true feelings...
Me: That's looking really nice! Do you think you could fill in those white spots there? I think that would make it look even better.
Boy: You are 'zausting! (exhausting)
Me: I know, right?!
I wish I had been there for this moment during a reading recovery session with a first grade girl...
Girl [reading]: He drunk...
Teacher: Don't say drunk, it's drank. Drunk isn't a word.
Girl: Yes it is. Like if you're drunk!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
This one is from my friend who teaches sixth grade language arts. She sent it to me way back on October 7 and I finally remembered to add it! This was written from one student to another on a peer editing checklist for personal narratives...
"Your story was fantastic, but you better watch those commas, girl!"
The other day a first grade girl was reading a book about a guinea pig in the portable with one of our reading recovery teachers...
Teacher: Do you know what a guinea pig is?
Girl: Yes, it's a big, fat hamster!
Me: That's the best description of a guinea pig I've ever heard.
The fourth grade went on a field trip yesterday to McConnell Springs as well as the Living Arts and Science Center. While at McConnell Springs, the students saw some animals along the edge of the springs...
Boy: Hey Mrs. Abell, do you think that's a crocodile or an alligator? I can't tell which one it is.
Mrs. Abell: It's a turtle.
First grade was supposed to take a field trip to the pumpkin patch today but it was rescheduled because of the weather. However, they did deliver some fantastic quotes! The first comes from a class reading a book about a cat named Oliver...
Boy: My sister's name is Oliver!
Teacher: I'm not so sure about that.
Boy: Me either. Actually, I don't have a sister.
And the next is just a random TMI...
Kid: My mom is getting pregnant today.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Leaving a rowdy fourth grade class...
Me: Did y'all take your crazy pills this morning?
Teacher: That's every day in this class.
Girl: I took my medicine today. (I should add that while she said this she was spinning a ruler on a pencil and then she bit the ruler...so I'm not sure what medicine that was.)
I asked my kindergarten class if there was anyone at home they could share the counting song I'd taught them with...
Boy: I have my brother Timmy with a broken leg!
Me: He broke his leg? Oh no, that's terrible!
Boy: Don't worry, they didn't cut it off.
Me: Well that's good to hear. I'm relieved they're no longer doing amputations for broken legs.
In my first grade classes I've been teaching them a song called Cinco Calabazas from a video I found on YouTube. The song is about five pumpkins and each pumpkin has a different emotion.
In our activity, students have to draw faces on blank pumpkins to show each emotion. On my example paper, my calabaza cansada (tired pumpkin) was dreaming so I told students they could make their calabazas dream about something if they wanted to. Apparently they know what pumpkins dream about...
¿Qué Sueñan Las Calabazas?
Boy: They can dream about Christmas!
M: My pumpkin is dreaming about g's.
Me: Like, the letter g?
M: Yup. And m's.
Boy: My pumpkin is dreaming about exercising!
I also got a lot of thank you notes from a first grade class from when I was the Mystery Reader. Naturally there is some amazing artwork that will need to be uploaded ASAP. I promise to get on that.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
What I look like to one fifth grade girl...
Girl: You look like a Spanish version of Velma [from Scooby Doo] with blonde hair. I'm not saying you're a nerd.
I got to be the "Mystery Reader" for a first grade class today. That means they heard three clues about who would be reading to them and tried to guess who it was, two actually guessed correctly! Here were their clues:
- I have a black belt in TaeKwonDo
- I've been to 14 countries outside the United States
- When I went to school, you only went to kindergarten for half of the day
- I eat turtles
- I like the smell of skunks
Girl: What's the Spanish word for pink again? I forgot.
Girl: That's right. We were at a club last night and we got in a huge fight about how to say pink in Spanish. I was really wrong.
Me: You were at a club?
Girl: It was me, my mom, my dad, my grandma, my aunt, and my boy aunt. That's how many people were at the club.
Second grade has been learning about habitats and yesterday we were talking about the desert. I decided to show them some pictures from my trip to the Sahara Desert...
Me: This is called an oasis, this is where we slept in the desert.
Girl: You stayed at an oasis?! I love oasises!!
Me: That's the most enthusiasm I've ever heard for an oasis.
Naturally the conversation progressed to bugs...
Girl 1: Did you know that in Africa, people eat bugs?
Me: Yes, actually people eat bugs in lots of countries.
Girl 2: Eww! Really?
Girl 1: I've got bugs in my teeth.
Girl 3: My mom has a secret recipe for soup, it's Tabasco sauce and spiders.
A Hispanic student explains her heritage...
Girl: People always think I'm from Mexico, but I'm from Ohio.
Dismissal time with my kindergarteners turned into a shoe tying extravaganza...
Boy: I know how to tie a shoe, you just pull it up and go loop, loop, loop!
Me: Wow, can you show me?
Boy: Well I can't do it.
Poor little AS had a bandaid on his finger...
AS: My skin broke.
Me: Oh no! How did your skin break?
AS: It just broke!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
A second grade girl was trying to ask about Fall Break next week but I had no clue what she was saying this morning...
Girl: Do we stay home all weekend?
Me: What? I don't know...wait what?
Girl: Is next week the one where we stay home all weekend?
Me: Do you mean Fall Break? Next week we have Thursday and Friday off. We only come to school Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
A fourth grade boy mixes up his rhymes...
Boy: Cheater, cheater, pants on fire!
I finally let a kindergarten boy sing a song he knew about all of the colors...
Girl: Can I sing my song for the class now?
Me: Is it in Spanish?
Me: Then no; you see, his was in Spanish.
A serious discussion about music with a second grade boy...
Boy: Miss Black, did you know there are some people who don't like Michael Jackson?
Me: I do know that...I suppose they aren't obligated to like him.
Boy: [shakes head] That's crazy. My sister wants to kiss Justin Beiber. [shakes head] That's crazy.
Me: I'm with ya on that one.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
|The good news is, I had my|
school picture taken with
M: I'm gonna get Jordan's so I can moonwalk.
A first grade boy stops me in the hallway...
Boy: Hey Miss Black, do you remember "Heeeey Macarena?"
Me: Uh yea, do you?
One day I encountered a third grade boy singing a song...
Boy: I knew you were trouble when you walked in...
Me: Taylor Swift? Really?
Apparently A's new thing is being picked up and/or attempting to pick up others...
A: Hey Miss Black, let's see if you can pick me up. [I am forced to pick him up]
Me: I think your back just popped a couple of times there, A.
A: Yea, I think you might be the best cracker.
It's been awhile since L (a first grade boy) delivered a quality quote...
L: Hey Miss Black, guess what? You know how you used to be able to take food out of the cafeteria?
Me: No, but go on.
L: Well, you still can. I have 2 crackers in my pocket.
A first grade girl explains trees and leaves...
Girl: When a tree has leaves it has hair. And when it gots no leaves, it's bald.
One morning, twin first grade boys were getting out of their car and they had this exchange with their mom...
Mom: Have a good day. Don't go kissing no girls!
Boy: We don't have girlfriends for crying out loud!
I was in a kindergarten class the other day and AS finished his work early. He asked me what I thought he should draw. Naturally, I said he should draw me. Here's what happened...
AS: That's [middle person] you.
Me: I see, it looks just like me. Who are all the other people?
AS: [Pointing to the 2 people on the left] That's you and that's you. [Pointing to the person with blue eyes] And that's you, too.
Me: That's an army of Señorita Blacks. I can tell that one is me because of the blue eyes.
AS: You crying because that rock is going to fall on your head. But Superman is come to save you.
Me: Well that's certainly lucky. Could you maybe add a cape to him so he doesn't look just like me?
*The drawing went on to contain another version of me that 2 monsters were going to eat, but once again I was saved by Superman.
I've also got 2 fifth grade stories from another teacher...
Teacher: Where are your hearing aids?
Boy: In my backpack.
Teacher: Why are they not in your ears?
Boy: Because when I take them out it gets quiet.
A fifth grade student teacher saw A playing on the trellis at the back of the playground...
Teacher: A, you know you can't climb that. It's not part of the playground.
A: I know! It's not to play on. But I just can't control myself when I see it. It drives me crazy!
Teacher: Well try to stay off of it.