M: We know that dogs like baths and cats don't like baths.
Teacher: What? Why are you talking about baths?
M points to a picture in the book
Teacher: That's a fireplace.
For this 9 weeks my morning duty is not outside (yay!). I stand by the stairs and see all the kids who come up from eating breakfast downstairs in the cafeteria. I've received two invitations to join some boys for breakfast in the morning which I've sadly had to decline. Anyway, there's a lot of traffic that passes by me in the morning. For example, there's a first grade boy who sometimes helps me police the halls...
Boy: My knows the bells gonna ring but I gonna stay here and help you. (Sees an older kid running) Hey! No running! Just walk. (And the kid actually listened). Him's fast walking, it's OK.
I've also developed a little crew I'll call The Breakfast Club. The Breakfast Club is made up of a few 3rd grade boys who can stir up trouble should the mood strike them. For whatever reason they like to stop and talk to me in the morning and I figure, if it helps start their day off on the right foot then I'm cool. The BC and I talk about some interesting things...
BC Boy 1: Hey girl! (Holds out his hand for a high five)
Me: Did you just call me girl?
BC Boy 2: Are you going to have a baby?
Me: Nope.
BC Boy 2: Are you married?
Me: Nope.
BC Boy 1: But she got a boyfriend. I seen your picture at your desk.
Me: Yes, I do have a boyfriend.
BC Boy 1: How come you ain't married?
Me: I didn't say I was never getting married, I'm just not currently married.
BC Boy 2: Aww, can I be your best man?
Me: Well that's usually the groom's choice.
BC Boy 2: What's that mean?
Me: That means it's the boy's choice who gets to be the best man, but I'll put in a good word for you.
And then there are the times that I hear things with absolutely no context...
3rd Grade Boy: We need muscles to get ladies.
Kid: It's like an old show. Was there an old show called Go Go Gadget? (*Had this not been going on in another classroom I would've taken time out of my day to educate this child on Inspector Gadget)
Finally, I think I'll end with some AS. He's been making quite a few plans for us lately...
AS: We going to go ice skating. Me, you, and Alan (AS's kindergarten bestie). I gonna take the wheels off my skateboard and we gonna go ice skting.
Me: Wow. I'm not very good. I usually fall down a lot. Is that OK if I fall down and squish you?
AS: I'ma show you how to do it. We go tomorrow night.
[The next day]
Me: What happened? We didn't go ice skating! You never picked me up.
AS: I forgot to get Alan, too. I gon pick you up in my little car.
Me: Your little car? Will I fit?
AS: I pull the big car behind it.
Me: That's a good idea. Are we going tonight?
AS: No. Christmas.
*His cousin has now told me that he talks about our ice skating date at home*
AS: Why you no go trick or treat with me?!
Me: I didn't know I was invited.
AS: I invite Alan!
Me: I didn't realize that I was automatically invited whenever Alan is invited.
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