Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Decorating Luminaria Bags

I do a really fun holiday craft with my older students where they get to create their own luminarias. Luminary bags are popular holiday decorations in Spanish-speaking countries and the kids enjoy either cutting the shapes out or just drawing them. I had some pretty awesome stuff this year. These are all from fifth grade classes.

Me: Let me see what you're drawing on your bag!
Boy: It's a phoenix.
Me: Whoa. Yea it is. I'm taking a picture of that.

I discovered that I have multiple students who are fans of Doctor Who. Check out the T.A.R.D.I.S bags!

Winter Break Has Begun

Here's the thing about being a special area teacher during the holidays and the end of the year. All the classroom teachers are getting presents from their students, but very few specials teachers are. But we teach the entire school! Oh well, I understand can only afford so many gifts, but I still like messing with kids as I see them bringing in presents.

Me: Is that for me?
3rd Grade Boy: No. You ain't my teacher.
Me: I'm your Spanish teacher. I teach the whole school. I should get 575 presents. He should give me a present. And her. And him. And them. Everybody.
Boy: Specials teachers don't get presents. Y'all get money.
Me: What money?
Boy: You know, the money!
Me: You mean we get paid? Your classroom teacher gets paid the same amount as we do.
Boy: Well that's all you need. $17.
Me: $17? Thankfully it's more than that.
Did I mention that I tried to really bring it on
our Ugly Christmas Sweater Day at work?
My outfit was pretty popular.
Boy: Fine. $81.
Me: Nope, still more than that. What I'm saying is, specials teachers get no love.
Boy: I don't love you.
Me: Well I don't love you either.
Boy: Good.

I talked about the various holidays celebrated in Spanish-speaking countries with all of my classes and here's a question that came up in a third grade class after I explained Three Kings Day and the fact that people believe that the Wise Men bring gifts and leave them in your shoes...

Girl 1: I have a question. Who delivers the gifts if the Wise Men are dead?
Me: If they're dead? Wow. That's kind of dark. I have no idea.
Girl 2: Probably some old people.

AS hands out some solid holiday advice...

AS: Mr. Grinch will steal your Christmas tree, your ornaments, and your presents. So be careful.

While there were many reactions to my ugly Christmas ensemble, my favorite was from a fifth grade boy. He looked me up and down, pondered and then said...

Boy: The question is, why?

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

December 10, 2013

2nd Grade Boy: My birthday is the same as the world's.

Me: The world's?

Boy: Yea. July 14. July 4, July 14.

Me: Oh, ok. Well July 4th is America's birthday.


2nd Grade Girl: Wanna see my new gloves?

Me: Sure.

Girl: Ta-Da!

Me: Wow! Those look very warm.

Girl: I'm never taking them outside.

Me: Why not?

Girl: So I don't lose them! I've already lost 2 gloves outside.

Me: Why do you keep taking your gloves off outside?

Girl: To play with!

Me: Oh...ok then.


While on my morning hall duty, I heard these kids coming up the stairs talking about kissing or something...

Me: What's this about kissing?

1st Grade Girl: Nothing!

Me: I heard you talking about kissing.

Girl: No, we weren't. We were just talking about what we did on our summer vacations.

Me: Summer vacations? In December? Uh-huh.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

No Rest for the Weary

I'm happy to say that after I print a few more items, all of my work for this semester's principal certification classes will be done. Between that and doing my actual job, there hasn't been time for anything else in the past month. In no particular order, here are the quotes I've been stockpiling since my last post.

M: My mamaw took me to the dump and told me to tell the boss. My papaw let me go because he knows someone there, Larry Hall.

While coloring a Thanksgiving booklet all about being thankful with kindergarten I was reminding them about coloring things the right way...

Me: Do I want to see things like purple and blue faces?
Kids: NO!
Me: That's right. Your books should look like a real book would look like. That means we're going to take our time, color inside the lines and that all the pictures should look like they would in real life.
Boy 1: You shouldn't color their eyes red. Like they got hot sauce poured in their eyes.
Me: Um, no. You shouldn't. That would be unfortunate.
Boy 1: Tabasco sauce.
Boy 2: If you see someone with brown hair, you know they dyed it.
Me: Actually a lot of people have brown hair. Brown is a normal hair color.

First grade received the same instructions when coloring their booklets...

Boy: Look at my skin. Is my skin peach?
Me: Yes.
Boy: I'm going to color her skin peach. I'm going to color her like me.
M: I don't know why his skin isn't brown; he's been to the beach like 5 times.

Believe it or not, I assisted some fourth grade students with their science fair projects.

Girl: Hey Miss Black, do you wanna help with something? It's for me and Isaac's science fair project. We need you to taste something.
Me: Umm, OK...sure.
Girl: We're going to blindfold you and you have to guess which color Kool Aid you're drinking based on the taste. And we can practice our Spanish too because you can tell us the colors in Spanish. After you tell us the Spanish color, tell us the real color.
Me: Yea, I hate those "fake" Spanish colors. This one is amarillo. Aka yellow.
Girl: Alright, you don't have to tell us the human color on this one. I mean English color.
Me & Mrs. Abell: Human color?

Another taste test on another day...

Girl 1: Do you want to be blindfolded?
Me: Yes.
Girl 1: Are you sure? It'll be dark.
Me: Absolutely. I insist. (she puts the blindfold on)
Girl 2: Can you see?
Me: No.
Girl 2: Can you remember where your mouth is?
Me: Yea, I think I can manage that.
Mrs. Abell: I think that might be better than "human colors".

Another group attempted to explain the project that they wanted to do...

Boy 1: We want to mix 2 flavors of pop to taste test.
Mrs. Abell: But why?
Boy 2: We want to see if people can tell the 2 tastes better than dogs.
Me: Because your dog can just say, "Hey man, this tastes like grape soda mixed with Mountain Dew!" If that's the case, forget the science project because you've got a talking dog.

As you can see from the picture, I wore my hair in pigtails one day because I'm long overdue for a haircut but don't have an appointment until December 23. The pigtails were popular though...
  • 1st grade boy: Miss Black! Your hair is beautiful!
  • Kindergarten girl: I like your piggie tails!
Of course, AS and I have had our share of moments...

AS: Be careful, I have apples in my  backpack. It's heavy.

AS: After me and Alan go [ice] skating, then me and you go. But I don't know where you house is.
Me: Well I guess I'll have to tell you, won't I?

In fact, news of our ice skating date is spreading throughout kindergarten...

Kindergarten boy: Ain't you and him going skiing?

A fourth grade boy speaks the truth...

Boy: Long day, huh?
Me:'s 10 am.

One morning I was standing in the hallway, drinking a ginger ale and a first grade boy approached me...

Boy: Miss Black, is that new?
Me: What?
Boy: That can.
Me: Oh. Well, I just started drinking it. It does say new on it. Apparently it only has 10 yes, that's new.
Boy: Oh.

And then a kindergarten boy threatened me...

Boy: Gimme $2!
Me: I don't have $2.
Boy: I'm gonna steal you!
Me: You're going to steal me? I don't think you understand how this works.

A fifth grade boy would not stop singing...

Girl: Miss Black, he keeps singing Selena Gomez.
Me: Stop singing! This isn't music class.
Girl: Ahh!
Me: OMG! Selena Gomez!
Girl: No, now he's singing What Does the Fox Say
Me: I've had that stuck in my head all morning.
Boy: What does the fox say...
Me: Nooo! Stop. I'll make you walk your recess.
Boy: Wait. "What does Miss Black say? You will, you will walk your recess!"
Me: That's right.

M delivers an intriguing monologue...

M: My mom, she can cut Spanish stuff. You know those swirly things that hang on the ceiling? My mom cut one out in Spanish. And I saw a Day of the Dead blanket at Goodwill. I said, "Oh I'd better get that for Miss Black!" And my mom said, "Hmm. I don't know Miss Black."

A first grade boy gave me a present...

Boy: Here, this for you. It's an apple [seed]. It's not to eat. It's to bury.

Kindergarten Boy: Miss Black! I've been looking for you!
Me: Why?
Boy: For candy!
Me: What? I've never given you candy.

A surreal moment in fourth grade...

Boy: I think it was in the 80s or something.
Me: You think what was in the 80s?
Boy: 9/11.
Me: What? No. It was in 2001. I was born in the 80s.