Snow Day #11 + It's a Snake in a Box

That's right, I'm coming to you live from my couch on snow day #11. I was pretty pumped when I got the text this morning. I was tired and I really needed a day to get some extra stuff done. Not to mention the fact that there's been so much madness going on lately in our district about budget cuts ($20 million?!) and a lot of uncertainty about jobs for next year. It's had me pretty rattled to say the least. It's not that kids haven't been saying hilarious things it's just that posting them hasn't really been at the top of my list.

Anyway, big news. A kindergarten boy has invited me to go to Hawaii this summer, so regardless of what happens job-wise, I've got that going for me. AS is going too. They've also invited one of our custodians, but not another boy who is at back door dismissal. Sorry about the tough luck, other boy.

We were talking about our Hawaii trip at dismissal yesterday when Mrs. Abell walked by...

Me: We're going to Hawaii this summer. Can Mrs. Abell come, too?
Boy: OK.
Me: Can she bring her rabbit, Hazel?
Boy: No. There's no rabbits allowed.
Me: What about Puff the Bearded Dragon? He's a lizard.
Boy: Hmm...no.
Mrs. Abell: You're allowed to have them there, I know.
He gives her a skeptical look
Me: She's a science teacher, so she would know.
She walks away.
Boy: There's a sign in Hawaii that says, "No bunnies and no lizards"
Me: A sign? I did not know that. What about my dogs?
Boy: No dogs.
Me: So that's on the sign, too.

Another kindergarten boy approached me at dismissal the other day and he was somewhat upset...

Boy: How come we didn't have Chinese today?
Me: You never have Chinese.
Boy: I mean Spanish.
Me: Because those are the same. And you had Spanish yesterday.

The first grade boy who drew the Disco Ball Man for me to color came to see it yesterday...

Boy: You could draw some walls for him so him be in a living room.
Me: That's true, I could do that.

We're finishing up learning about different artists in the primary grades and I was collecting the Salvador Dalí inspired "dream drawings" one second grade class had been working on...

Me: OK, it's time to pack up. I'm going to come around and collect your Dalí Dream Drawings if I haven't already done so.
Girl: Mine wasn't from my dream.
Me: I'm not surprised. You didn't really work very hard on yours. (She usually does good work and I was a little frustrated with her).
Girl: My dreams are full of darkness.
Me: Well...that's creepy.

Showing some of my 5th grade Whovians my new T.A.R.D.I.S phone case I got for Valentine's Day...

Boy: Hey, Miss Black. If you met a Dalek, what do you think it would sound like?
Me: What do you mean? I think he would sound like...you know, a Dalek. (in a soft, robotic, Dalek voice) "Exterminate! Exterminate!" I'm not going to be really loud or anything.
Boy: Hmm. I think they would sound like the original Daleks from the 60s (in a slightly loud, slightly high-pitched, robotic Dalek voice) "We are the Daleks!"
Me: Well OK then.

Getting settled on the carpet in kindergarten...

Me: Everyone needs to have a seat, criss-cross applesauce, on the carpet.
Girl: Miss Black, I'm wearing pantyhose!
Me: I'm so glad you told me.

I'm not sure what second grade wants from me...

Girl: Do you have a Mr. Black?
Me: No.
Girl: So...you're single?
Me: Well, I have a boyfriend.
Girl: A boyfriend? EWWW!

Now this one is sure to take you back because I think we've all been in this situation ourselves...

Remember when you were in fourth grade and you found a snake that you just didn't know what to do with? Oh how you racked your brain for the best possible solution and then it hit you:

I'll put the snake in a pencil box and carry it to school in my backpack because my science teacher probably wants it!

And remember how the snake was in the pencil box on the teacher's desk when the Spanish teacher came in for her lesson and she couldn't believe the snake was alive until she saw it move and it reminded her of her own very odd encounter with a snake during her youth in which a tiny snake managed to come home from Christian Camp in her suitcase and lay in wait for her in her room and she thought it was a toy that her brother had put there to scare her and she almost picked it up but she didn't and then when she went to step around it it moved and she screamed and jumped on her bed and at first her dad didn't come up the stairs because he thought she was just overreacting to seeing a spider but then her brother went and got him and said, "There's a snake in Erin's room!" and he came up and said, "I'll be damned!" and trapped it in an empty peanut butter jar? (Yea, do you remember that?) And subsequently make her think of a match.com creeper who tried to holla at her prior to her meeting her boyfriend?

And who could forget watching the science teacher try to figure out exactly what to do with her surprise snake? It's no wonder this is truly a tale as old as time.

The moral of the story is: Just because your science teacher has a rabbit, a bearded dragon, and some fish does not mean that she wants a snake that you've caught [which as it turns out is apparently a hobby of yours]. As it turns out, your teacher planned to get the other class pets and doesn't appreciate surprise reptiles (no one does, FYI--except the match.com creeper).