Thursday, May 29, 2014

T Minus 1 Week

We're into the final countdown for the school year. It's been a crazy busy time for me. Since my last post I've helped with the big end of the year art project: tie dying t-shirts. That was a really fun (but busy) week! I've also been applying to tons of jobs, updating my resume (and all that fun stuff!) since being pink slipped 2 months ago. Yesterday I actually started telling students that I won't be back next year which has been extremely difficult!

1st Grade Boy: Look Miss Black, I scraped my leg.
Me: Oh no. What happened?
Boy: I feel off my scooter. And the concrete was 100% hurt.
Me: Ouch. 100% hurt? That sounds bad.

Me: This is our last Spanish class together before summer. And then you guys will be first graders!
Kids: First grade means bigger words! And bigger Spanish words! *And then they spontaneously broke into a song from their end of the year concert/performance*
Kindergarten Girl: The next time you see us, we'll be first graders! Unless you're retiring.
Me: Actually that's what I want to talk to you about. I wanted to tell you that I won't be here next year.
Kindergarten Boy: But we can't learn Spanish without you!

1st Grade Boy: Remember that day you told me you won't be here anymore?
Me: Yes (It was yesterday)
Boy: I'll still remember you.
Me: Aww, thank you, sweetie! (tearing up)

Kindergarten Girl: My sister isn't here today.
Me: Is she sick.
Girl: Yea. Her 'tomach hurts. And she pooped 4 times!
Me: Oh, wow. That's...something.

I'm not really sure what this conversation was about, but this is the part I walked in on...

5th Grade Boy A: It's not a synonym or an antonym or...what do you kids say these days?
5th Grade Boy B: Hyperbole?
(That's when I turned around and raised my eyebrow; they both just smiled)

Today, after I told my fourth grade class that I wouldn't be back next year I explained that I had taught at a high school before I came to an elementary school and that having to leave that job led me to discover that elementary school is where I prefer to be. The kids asked why I like elementary better than high school and one suggested that it was because high school kids text too much and I said they do text a lot. Here are the fourth grade solutions to texting students:

  • Bring in a wooden spoon and smack the desks
  • Scratch my nails on a chalkboard and say, "STOP TEXTING!" *Also I should be wearing earplugs
    • Another student said I shouldn't do this because while I was scratching my nails on the chalkboard the kids would cover an ear with 1 hand and use their other hand to update their statuses to say, "A psychotic Spanish teacher is scratching her nails on the chalkboard!!" 
  • Get a box/safe and make students put the cell phones in it before class starts
  • Hack their phones and install a Spanish App that has a picture of my face that pops up and says, "Stop texting! You cannot defeat me!" (My response was, "I'm flattered that you think I'm smart enough to do this.")
  • Bring in a belt and beat them
  • Give them detention
  • Take their phones

Here's some interesting information I just found out...a former high school student of mine has made the news, but not in a good way.

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