I'm going to try to incorporate the quotes I have from the two and a half years I spent teaching high school. I [foolishly] didn't write very many of them down my first semester, but maybe I'll remember more as time goes by.
I started teaching at Lafayette High School in January 2010 after another teacher decided to quit mid-year.
The very first class I ever taught:
Me: (roll call) Is So-and-So here?
Boy: Yea, you can call me Jesus.*
*Obviously his name is not remotely close to Jesus. This kid is hilarious and in future years we would bond over a shared appreciation for things like The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.
A few gems from the rest of the semester...
Kid 1: How do you spell gonorrhea?
Kid 2: Don't worry, you'll get it some day and then you'll know.
Me: I have no idea. Gonorrhea isn't really my area of expertise.
Freshman Girl: Miss Black, why can't football players have intercourse before a game?
Me: Umm, I have not idea. I didn't know they couldn't. Maybe it makes them tired? Did you seriously raise your hand and have me come over to answer that question? Why would I know?
Girl: I don't know. I thought maybe you date a football player.
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