September 23, 2013

Not too many quote to report. Although, I have started a...shall we say, collection that I feel the need to share with you. I'm calling it, "Interesting Things That Fall Out of Parents' Cars". It started on Wednesday during morning car duty. One of the first car doors that I opened (a Porsche, BTdubs) revealed a rather messy car. That is nothing new. When the student got out of the car something fell out, which is also nothing new. It looked like paper so I didn't pick it up immediately.

Well, fast forward a few car doors to when I actually had a second to look down and see what had fallen from said Porsche. That would be a Trojan condom (in its wrapper--I'm not picking up a used condom, people) that expired in January 2012. Stay classy.

My two main quotes today come from a first grade girl during her session with one of the reading teachers who I share a portable with. This girl, let's call her M, is a trip and a half! She always has the craziest stories. Perhaps you remember her granddaddy dying in the big earthquake at the beginning of time?

On Friday, she got out of the car in the morning holding a cup...

M: Miss Señorita Black, look! I got coffee!
Me: Well M, I've always said you needed to be more caffeinated.
*Sidenote: Apparently this is related to studies that suggest that giving children with ADD/ADHD a stimulant in the morning actually helps them concentrate. If it works, more power to 'em!

Apparently on the way to her reading session this morning she was explains her philosophy on skinny jeans to a teacher...

M: If it doesn't hurt your belly, it's not tight enough.

If M had her druthers, I'm certain she'd sit and tell stories all day long. During reading she has to wait to tell a story until it's time to write and then whatever tale she has just bursts out of her. It's my favorite part of her session because I just get to listen from a cross the room...

M: My dog got snake bit. It's not my dog, it's my Papaw's dog. And it bit him on the ear first and then he got it in his mouth and slung it and it hit a car. I'm not sure if he's ok because the first dog that got bit, he died.

A first grade boy approaches the delicate topic of weight as he gives me a hug...

Boy: Why is it so hard to get...[my arms around you]?
He didn't say the last part, he just trailed off. It's like he knew that would be calling me fat. First of all: well played, young sir. Second of all: I am 28 and you are 6, I do not expect your arms to fit around me.

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