April 29, 2013

I was helping a second grade girl out of the car today and her younger brother (I think he's about 2 or 3) struck up a conversation with me...

Boy: You da one they have that speaks a language.
Me: Yes, I speak Spanish.

And then a kindergarten boy got out of his car...

Me: Good morning, L.
L: I split a watermelon. I didn't mean to. But the inside of the watermelon has a crack.
Me: Well, I guess you don't know your own strength.

I think for one first grade boy, my name keeps evolving. He's always called me Miss Señorita Black...

Boy: Mysterita Black!

April 26, 2013

I wish I could take credit for having
come up with this awesome craft, but
I cannot. I found it on Pinterest.

I just started a project with my students in grades K-2 in honor of Cinco de mayo. I'm teaching them about the holiday and then they're decorating the maracas I made over Spring Break. At this point I would just like to add that it takes a long time to make 300 maracas.

Anyway, for the most part they've been too engrossed in the craft to say anything particularly awesome but I did have a kindergarten boy say this to me...

Boy: This is called The Green Thunder.

Me: You named your maraca?

Boy: Yea.

Me: Well OK then.

April 25, 2013

I forgot about this political conversation I had with a first grade boy yesterday. This is not our first political discussion and I am confident that it won't be our last...

Boy: I just gotta get out of Kentucky. The thing is Kentucky is a red state. I just wish it was a blue state. (this is the part where I high-fived him because he's hilarious) See, but there are a lot of Republicans in Kentucky.

Sometimes, it's not so much what the kids say but rather what they do and how I have to respond. For example, I was talking with a kindergarten boy (the infamous "peanut butter jelly time" artist) about a particular page of his food booklet. See if you can spot the sentence I never thought I'd say...

Me: Wow, this looks great. I see that you've put arms and legs on all the foods again...what happened to the chicken?
Boy: He fell down.

Me: Of course. Hey, you haven't drawn these three yet.

Boy: They're in battle.
Me: OK, can you draw me the rest of the food before you add arms and legs to the knife and fork so that they can do battle?

I'm not 100% sure what's happening with the utensils...

Kindergarten girl: Miss Black, come look at my turkey!

Me: Wow, that turkey looks great.

Girl: And look, I drew a dog under the steak and the ham and he's thinking, "Man I want that stuff."

Me: I see that. Nice.

I told M that we would be making maracas in class tomorrow since we were going to learn about a holiday called Cinco de mayo...

M: What's that?
Me: A musical that you hold in your hand and shake and it makes a little noise?
M: That's not Spanish, that's just music.

At dismissal time, there were two students waiting for other students before they left. One was a fifth grade boy and the other was a third grade girl...

Girl: Who you waitin' on?
Boy: My girlfriend.
Girl: Who's your girlfriend?
Boy: So-and-so.
Girl: Ugh. Y'all ain't perfect.

April 24, 2013

In a first grade classroom there was a boy walking behind a girl asking her if a no-name paper belonged to her. She kept refusing to answer him and trying to hide...

Me: Sweetie, he's asking you if that's your paper. If it is you need to put your name on it. Why won't you answer him?
Girl: Because I'm shy.
Me: Oh, OK. Do you want me to get the paper from him?
Girl: Yes.

Explaining a word scramble game to a class of third graders...

Boy: So are the words in Spanish?
Me: I don't know; is this Spanish class?
Boy: Yes.
Me: Then yes.

At yesterday's dismissal, M decided to wander off without waiting for an adult. All crises were avoided and he knows not to do that now, but I was freaking out yesterday not only after I heard he was somewhat MIA but even after everything had calmed down. It was as though my body put off having a panic attack until a more convenient time. Here's our interaction at dismissal today...

Me: Well hello there, Escape Artist.
M: Why does everyone keep saying that word?
Me: Because one of us walked off without waiting for a grown up yesterday and it wasn't me.
M: Oh...yea.

April 23, 2013

Kindergarten Boy: Is Miss Black your real name?
Me: Yes. Why wouldn't it be my real name?
Boy: I don't know.
Me: Is your real name so-and-so?

The left is [clearly] a "double tv" while the right is a jail.

Boy: Yea.

Second Grade Girl: The only think I know how to draw is everything.

First Grade Boy: Boo!
Me: Oh, you scared me!

Boy: I scared you? Did your heart go boom?

Me: It did.

Boy: That's what happens when someone scares me.

First Grade Boy: Here, this [drawing] is for you.

Me: Oh, thank you...what is it?

Boy: It's a double TV.

Me: A double TV? I like the way you think.

He later presented me with another drawing...
Boy: Look, Miss Black! It's a jail. Want me to make you one?
Me: Absolutely.

April 22, 2013

I opened a car door to find a fourth grade boy laying down in the backseat...

Me: Why are you laying down?
Boy: I was trying to be a mystery person.

I overheard a third grade boy say this in the hallway...

Boy: I have to wash my beautiful hands.

This was said by a student (I believe a kindergartener or first grader) a few days ago...

Boy: When do adults grow eyes in the back of their heads?
Me: Well, we don't actually have eyes in the back of our heads.

April 19, 2013

The awesomeness started right away today when a first grade boy hopped out of the car (in the pouring rain) with only one boot on...

Me: You're missing a shoe!
Boy: I know!

And then he just ran into the building. I had to have closure so I emailed his teacher to ask if he'd brought other shoes in his backpack or something. Nope. Mom was en route with the other boot. I've been laughing and smiling about that all day.


And as if the day wasn't already awesome enough, look who
came to visit us out in the portable! It's Hazel the Rabbit.
She's one of 4 class pets in the fourth grade.

Drawing desserts in kindergarten...

Boy: This is my special mint cake!

One kindergarten class seems to be obsessed with the phrase, "can you give me a minute?" They like to say it and then put their heads under their tables...

Girl: Can you give me a minute?
Me: I'll give you all sorts of minutes.
Boy: Can you give me 85 minutes?
Me: 85? That's a lot of minutes.

Drawing desserts in first grade...

Boy: Can you draw me a cheesecake? I love cheesecake.


Dismissal Time...

M: He's saying I have a date!
Boy: He does.
Me: A date? Is it a hot date? Dinner and a movie? Oh, no wait, it's dancing. He's always dancing.
Another Teacher: Are you taking her dancing with the stars?
M: OK, I watch that movie every day.

Girl: I can stand on my hands for 10 hours.
Me: 10 hours? That seems like a long time.

One of the popular indoor recess activities is to play videos from the "Just Dance" video game on the projection screen for kids who want to play. I showed up to a kindergarten class early and noticed the girl who can stand on her hands for 10 hours was dancing to a Britney Spears song. I may or may not have run in the room and finished the song with her...


Obviously, Wellesley College doesn't
have a problem with women exercising
their First Ammendment rights.

I tell you what, when it rains it pours. Just yesterday (I think) I posted a link to a story of a teacher getting in trouble for saying something wildly moronic and what should I stumble upon today? Oh, just a story about a principal who tried to badmouth a student to the college she's already been accepted to because she spoke out against the abstinence-only school assembly they had. I'm serious, you can't make this up. Apparently the speaker (from a Christian organization) spouts pearls of wisdom such as:

• If your mother gives you birth control, she probably hates you.
• Condoms aren't safe.
• Women who take birth control are 10 times more likely to contract an STD.

April 18, 2013

Things I've been called this week...

5th Grade Boy: Miss Whatchacallit
1st Grade Boy: She's an Organizer Lady!
Kindergarten Girl: Hey Miss Teacher

While waiting outside the fifth grade classes today, a boy approached me and started talking...

Boy: My dogs ate all the ice cream.
Me: Yea, dogs like ice cream.
Boy: And then people were asking all these math questions and it was hard.
Me: Are you taking crazy pills right now? Because that makes no sense.
Boy: Oh, I'm talking about a computer game.

Another fifth grade boy finished his work and began looking at a book with pictures of working conditions in the Depression (which is what they're learning about in Social Studies)...

Boy: There are demons in this book.
Me: What?
Boy: Look! Look at his eyes--there are no pupils. He's a demon.
(This went on for several minutes, apparently every other page of the book was home to a demon)
Me: OK, can you stop talking about people being possessed? It's kind of creepy.

Kindergarteners at dismissal time...

Girl 1: Let me see how many teeth you have. (She sticks her face in the other girl's mouth)
Me: Quit doing that, it's weird.
Girl 1: What? My mom's a dentist. Hmm, it looks like she has another tooth coming in here.

As a teacher, I have the "privilege" of reading about some of my more ignorant colleagues across the country and around the globe. It amazes me how many people have absolutely no idea of what is appropriate versus what is inappropriate. Check out this story for more detail!

April 17, 2013

What's My Age Again?...Kindergarten Style

Girl 1: Your nails are pretty.
Me: Thank you. I was in a friend's wedding this weekend so we had our fingernails and toenails painted red.
Girl 1: Who?
Me: My friends? They're names are Caitlin and Michael.
Girl 2: Caitlin?! My best friend's name is Caitlin! She lives down the street from me.
Me: Oh my gosh, do you think it's the same one? Did your friend get married this weekend?
Girl 2: No, she's only 6.
Girl 1: How old was that one?
Me: She's 26. It must not be the same Caitlin.
Girl 1: How old are you?
Me: 28.
Girl 1: My mom is older than that. And my dad.
Boy: Do you have any kids?
Me: No, I'm not married.
Girl 1: Oh...she doesn't have any kids.

Girl 2: Moms are 60. She's not a mom yet because she's not 60. 60 is a mom age. My mom is 60.

Me: I'm pretty sure your mom isn't 60.
Girl 2: I think she is.
Me: Well, I've seen her drop you off in the morning and she's a lot younger than 60. You should ask her.

There's a third grade boy who can always entertain me with the things he imagines, today he started adding some of his own ideas to his book about food...

Me: What's that?
Boy: It's a space station.
Me: Underneath the piece of pizza?

Boy: Yea, and that's an astronaut.

Me: So, how many space stations do you think I've eaten if they're hidden underneath pizza?
Boy: It has windows.
Me: Good, so they can watch me eat them. And I see you drew the moon here by the sandwich?

Boy: No, that's a planet. Here's the moon.

Me: Oh, a planet. Now I see the moon, over the spaghetti. And here's a star.

Boy: This is a bridge. It's an elevator. It goes from the space station to the pizza so they can eat it. I'm going to label it.

Later, he was drawing on the board...

Me: Whatcha doin'?

Boy: Nothing.

Me: Are you writing some 1's?

Boy: No.

Me: Oh, it's the letter i.

Boy: Yea. They're a family.

Me: A family of i's. OK.

You are dismissed...

M: My mom's boyfriend doesn't like me. He's mean to me. He does this [makes a face].

Me: That's not a very nice thing to say. I'm sure he likes you.

M: No he doesn't.

Me: That's not something we joke about, M.

M: Just kidding. My mom doesn't even have a boyfriend. She just has a...husband.

I forgot this one from Monday. I was in a third grade class when I overheard a boy singing...

Boy: Down, down, down...I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down, down, down, down...

Me: Umm, could you stop singing Johnny Cash?

April 15, 2013

Kindergarten Boy: You have pretty red nails.
Me: Thank you.
Boy: What do you call that?
Me: The color on my nails? It's called Big Apple Red.
Boy: And how do you say Big Apple Red in Spanish.
Me: Well, I suppose it would be manzana grande rojo
Boy: Manzana grande rojo.

First Grade Boy: Do you speak any Korean?
Me: Umm, no.

April 11, 2013

I had a few interesting interactions with a fifth grade girl today...

Girl: I like your smell. Some people don't smell right.
Me: Well, thanks.

Girl: You could fight her [another teacher].
Me: Umm...I'm not going to, but thanks.

A kindergarten boy comments on the high school student observing me for EBCE...

Boy: Miss Black, you have a sentist.
Me: I have a what?
Boy: A sentist.
Me: A sentence?
Boy: NO! You know, a person who helps you out.
Me: Ooohh, an assistant. Yes, I do.

Drawing fruits with kindergarteners...

Boy: I can draw a strawberry, silly! Guess what is my favorite food? Everything except pineapples. Pineapples hurt my mouth.

Girl: There's juice coming out of my watermelon... because I took a big bite out of it!

A first grader notices me checking my phone before class starts...

Girl: What are you doing with your phone? Texting? I bet you have a boyfriend.
Me: Yep, I do.

I pass by some first graders on the playground...

Boy 1: Hola, ¿Cómo estás?
Me: Hola.
Boy 2: ¡DELICIOSO!

Dismissal time...

M: Guess what? I got on purple today.
Me: Oh no, M! What happened?
Girl: He didn't. He's lying.
M: OK, I tricked you...I was on green.
Me: That's much better!
M: I want to marry this wall!
Me: Well good luck to you. I fully support that.

Girl: Guess what? My sister picked me up yesterday and I finally got to see her car.
Me: You'd never seen her car before? You know she lives with you, right?
Girl: Yea, but I'd never seen inside her car.

September 4, 2012     Fifth graders ask me about Dora...

Boy 1: Are you the voice of Dora?
Me: If I were the voice of Dora do you think I'd be here right now?
Boy 1: Yea, she teaches Spanish too.
Me: If I were the voice of Dora I'd be home right now, asleep. And then I'd be calling Diego and Boots saying, "Hey guys, let's hang out!"
Boy 2: I heard Dora is suing Nickelodeon.
Me: I know nothing about that. Dora and I never talk like we used to.

April 10, 2013

The majority of today's quotes are related to food since I'm working on food vocabulary with the entire school. We've been working on making books where they draw pictures of the food next to the Spanish word.

Second Grade...

Boy: My bananas is too skinny. I need to get some fat on thems. 

Peanut Butter Jelly Time!



Kindergarten...

Boy: Miss Black, look.

Me: Wow, those look great! I like how all the fruits have faces and arms and legs. Wait, does that say "peanut butter jelly time"?
He shook his head yes. And then I high-fived him.
Me: That's awesome.

Boy 1 (native speaker): He (Boy 2) said "puta."
Me: I highly doubt that.
Boy 2: My dad got $3,000
Me: Are you giving it to me?
Boy 2: No.
Me: Why not?
Boy 1: Yea, you should give it to her because she helped you draw a pineapple.

A first grade boy finished drawing his food items and began to draw on the back of his book...

Boy: Hey Miss Black, guess what I'm drawing.
Me: What?
Boy: A zombie apocalypse.
Me: I did not expect that.

A kindergarten boy sees a third grade boy on crutches...

Boy: Look! That boy has a bad toe!

Dismissal time...

M: Hello!
Me: What's up?
M: AHHH!!! I was about to say that!
Me: It's a crazy world.

April 9, 2013

First of all, I had a contribution from a friend at another school. She has lunch duty in the cafeteria (a fate I cannot fathom enduring) and today there was a student teacher helping her. In the middle of their duty (aka sentence) the student teacher came over to her...

Student Teacher: This is terrible. I'm contemplating going to the bathroom and commiting suicide.
My Friend: Welcome to my world.

I can't believe I forgot to include this yesterday! One of my kindergarteners loves to tell me all about his clothes (which are often Star Wars themed) when he gets out of the car in the morning and I swear he has a new shirt on every other day...

Boy: Well, I don't have a new shirt on today but I do have a storm trooper sticker.
Me: Sounds cool...I guess we can't have a new shirt every day.

Drawing food with fifth graders...

Boy 1: Can you help me draw a strawberry?
Me: Sure.
Boy 2: I asked you to draw me a strawberry, woman!
Me: Excuse me? Woman?
Boy 2: Aw, I'm just kidding.

I was having an issue with a third grade student in class in a class which is normally quite talkative, but of course they were very quiet in hopes of eavesdropping on my conversation with the student in question. Here's what happened later...

Girl: Man, we sure are quiet when we're nosy.
Me: I know, right?

I was actually on my phone when my kindergarteners showed up for dismissal yesterday so I didn't get to continue this conversation with M but here's his opening statement...

M: That was the best Spring Break ever! I gotta get a drink of water and then I'm going to tell you all about my Spring Break! Can I get a drink of water?

Today at dismissal...

M: I'm acting like a girl (doing ballet moves throughout the hallway)
Me: M, you didn't get to tell me about your Spring Break yesterday!
M: I can't tell you.
Me: What?! Yesterday you couldn't wait to tell me all about it.
M: I can tell him (another teacher).
Me: What's so secret that you can tell him and not me?
M: Fine, I'll tell you. I played video games! I just want to play video games. I don't want to think about any of my word wall words, I just want to play video games.

April 8, 2013

Today was the first day back from Spring Break and I must admit, it was nice to have funny kid quotes in my life again!

Drawing Rana's final outfit in kindergarten...

Boy: Miss Black, I gotta tell you something important.
Me: OK, what is it?
Boy: He's drawing a leprechaun hat.
Me: Umm, alright.

Lost in Kindergarten Translation...

[Native speaker] Boy 1: Tu, umm...house. I want to tell him something about his house but I can't remember the word for house.
Me: Casa.
Boy 1: Right. Tu casa huele como...how do you say strawberry?
Me: Fresa.
Boy 1: OK. His casa huele like fresa.
Me: You wanted to tell him that his house smells like strawberries? How do you know?
Boy 2: My house doesn't smell like anything.

Spring Break

I've been remiss as a blogger as of late. The week before Spring Break was a bit crazy (some of the kids may or may not have lost their minds) and I was too busy to post anything. Not to mention the fact that they didn't have a lot of great quotes...it was mostly just yelling things and being crazy. I do have a couple quotes that I managed to remember...

I've started teaching various food vocabulary to my kids and we've been decorating booklets with different food words.

Second grade...

Me: OK, look at the picture and tell me what a plátano is.
Boy: Naner!
Me: That's right, banana.
Boy: I'm 'dicted to naners! You're gorgeous. IT'S ALMOST SPRING BREAK!
Me: Thank you and yes, it is almost Spring Break.

Fifth grade...

Boy: Should I draw the potato stupid since potatoes are stupid?
Me: What? Like in comparison to all the other vegetables?

Third grade...

Boy: Drawing a pineapple is easy. Just draw Sponge Bob's house.
Me: Sure, I guess.
Boy: Will you draw a pineapple for me?
Me: What happened to it being easy and to just draw Sponge Bob's house?
Boy: Well, it's still hard.